In the past Argentina has been plagued by inflation, which reached 2,000 percent in 1984. By 1989 inflation had reached 5,000 percent making the nation's currency almost worthless. Imagine being in a golf tournament and the purse was $1,000,000 when you started and $10,000 when you finished?
However, recently things got much better in Argentina. The government created the nuevo peso Argentino (new Argentine peso) bringing inflation under control, and Angel Cabrera won the U.S. Open waddling home with 1,260,000 Nuevo Pesos Argentinos and the entire country shouted Ay! Caramba.
Who would have believed it? The Duck beat the Tiger, but it happened and I, as a bit of a duck myself, couldn’t be happier. Fire up another Winston, hand me that second helping of mashed potatoes, and let’s play golf. Angel Cabrera is the 2007 U.S. Open Champion. Chips and salsa one under par on Sunday, abs of steel two over. Somewhere Billy Casper is laughing, jiggling of course, but still laughing.
Cabrera didn’t win it, Tiger lost it, you say? Pour me another shot of Tequila while I disagree. He and Tiger may play a hundred times in the future and Tiger may win a hundred out of a hundred, but on those four days Angel Cabrera was the best golfer was the world, not Tiger Wood, not Jim Furyk or anybody else. It’s time to realize that your favorite nine and seven football team is not a better team than that. You are what you are. Could the 1980 U.S. Olympic Hockey Team beat those commie Russian bastards again? It doesn’t matter; they have their Gold Medal just like Cabrera has his name on the trophy and 1,260,000 of Nuevo Pesos Argentinos in the bank.
As Johnny Miller waited for Furyk and then Tiger to make their moves, Angel Cabrera and his caddie sat nervously in the locker room waiting. "I was definitely feeling nervous, but I assumed that this is the same sensation everybody was having in my place," said Cabrera through an interpreter. And, it was at that very moment that I realized that had Cabrera and his caddie switched bodies perhaps Angel would be getting a little more respect. But who cares? Angel Cabrera is Lyle Lovett marrying Julia Roberts, and who wouldn’t trade their abs for that?
On 361 days this year Tiger will be the best golfer in the world, but not at the 107th U.S. Open. Is the mystique gone, or just back in Florida thinking about baby Sam that would arrive shortly? Pack away your red shirt and grab your passport for the British Open next month. Phil Mickelson will be there along with Retief, Furyk, Padraig, Ernie and Vijay, but look out for that chubby guy sitting in the smoking section.
As Rocky Balboa once said, “Freak luck is a strange thing,” so the next time you tee it up with your buddy that has beat you like a red-headed step child once a week for the last year, remember Rocky Balboa and Lyle Lovett and know that all things are possible. You are the U.S. A. Hockey Team, David with a slingshot, and yes, Angel Cabrera. So, light up that Winston, and take one more trip through the buffet line because tomorrow you could win the club championship.
Granted, it would help if you could hit the ball 390 yards like Angel Cabrera, the 2007 U.S. Open Champion.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Friday, June 8, 2007
Welcome To The Tiger Tour
Tiger Woods now has his own tournament, the AT&T National, to be played July 2 through 8 at the famous Congressional Country Club. That’s not news. However what may be news is that the golf world has pulled an end run around its own rule about appearance fees. How’s that you ask? Well, for his duties, which is basically showing up at said tournament, the Tiger Woods Foundation will receive a multi-million charitable donation no matter what Tiger does on the golf course.
Technically, that may not be an appearance fee, but when the money ends up in Tiger Wood’s control what else would you call it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that the Tiger Woods Foundation does wonderful work, but that’s not the point. The fact is that Tiger’s presence in a tournament can make it or break it from a TV rating standpoint, and without TV ratings sponsors are hard to find, and without sponsors tournaments disappear.
So, what’s next? Will Phil Mickelson and his Foundation host the next FBR Open in Scottsdale? How about Vijay Singh and his Foundation hosting the Mercedes-Benz Championship in Hawaii, or Ernie Els, or Jesper Parnevik? Okay, maybe not Jesper. Granted, it may only be the top two or three players in the world that make enough difference to warrant such treatment, or their maybe there’s only one, but how many Tournaments would plop down a sizable chartable donation if it would guarantee that Tiger Woods would play in their tournament?
Consider how few tournaments the top players actually play in these days. Now consider how many spots on their dance card are already filled with four majors, plus the Players. Now add to that the World Golf Championships, the Tour Championship. Then comes the money games like the million bucks Tiger and others get for showing up in Dubai and Asia. Now don’t forget that Tiger plays in two Buick events, plus the AT&T National, just like Phil plays in the American Express sponsored tournaments. Then there are Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer’s tournaments, which most attend. Now, factor in that the big name players don’t like to play more than three weeks in row and what have you got?
The answer is very little room for any other tournaments.
So, what’s the harm? Perhaps there is none, or perhaps Tiger, Phil, Ernie and the boys are becoming their own tour and in doing so relegating the regular PGA Tour to non superstar status and that would worry me if I were ranked number 75 in the world. Because with relegation comes less exposure followed by less money and less opportunity. How many tournaments already have limited exposure because they are only seen on the Golf Channel?
Again, so what? What does Tiger and all of the others owe to golf? Actually, everything; without golf Tiger is selling real estate, Phil is on the Poker Tour and Ernie is a potato farmer in South Africa. Politicians and CEOs get in trouble when they think they are the smartest guys in the room. Athletes get in trouble when they start thinking that they are bigger than the game.
Last year the PGA Tour touted that they had raised a billion bucks for charity and that’s admirable. But what happens if this new order takes hold? Sure, Tiger’s Foundation will get its money and so will Phil’s, but what about the dozens of other charities that are left out in the cold? Who got their share? Tiger, Phil and Tim Finchem should remember that golf did not invent the big buck charity golf tournament; charity invented the big buck golf tournament.
Sometimes when the banquet table is too big you forget who bought the groceries.
Technically, that may not be an appearance fee, but when the money ends up in Tiger Wood’s control what else would you call it? Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure that the Tiger Woods Foundation does wonderful work, but that’s not the point. The fact is that Tiger’s presence in a tournament can make it or break it from a TV rating standpoint, and without TV ratings sponsors are hard to find, and without sponsors tournaments disappear.
So, what’s next? Will Phil Mickelson and his Foundation host the next FBR Open in Scottsdale? How about Vijay Singh and his Foundation hosting the Mercedes-Benz Championship in Hawaii, or Ernie Els, or Jesper Parnevik? Okay, maybe not Jesper. Granted, it may only be the top two or three players in the world that make enough difference to warrant such treatment, or their maybe there’s only one, but how many Tournaments would plop down a sizable chartable donation if it would guarantee that Tiger Woods would play in their tournament?
Consider how few tournaments the top players actually play in these days. Now consider how many spots on their dance card are already filled with four majors, plus the Players. Now add to that the World Golf Championships, the Tour Championship. Then comes the money games like the million bucks Tiger and others get for showing up in Dubai and Asia. Now don’t forget that Tiger plays in two Buick events, plus the AT&T National, just like Phil plays in the American Express sponsored tournaments. Then there are Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer’s tournaments, which most attend. Now, factor in that the big name players don’t like to play more than three weeks in row and what have you got?
The answer is very little room for any other tournaments.
So, what’s the harm? Perhaps there is none, or perhaps Tiger, Phil, Ernie and the boys are becoming their own tour and in doing so relegating the regular PGA Tour to non superstar status and that would worry me if I were ranked number 75 in the world. Because with relegation comes less exposure followed by less money and less opportunity. How many tournaments already have limited exposure because they are only seen on the Golf Channel?
Again, so what? What does Tiger and all of the others owe to golf? Actually, everything; without golf Tiger is selling real estate, Phil is on the Poker Tour and Ernie is a potato farmer in South Africa. Politicians and CEOs get in trouble when they think they are the smartest guys in the room. Athletes get in trouble when they start thinking that they are bigger than the game.
Last year the PGA Tour touted that they had raised a billion bucks for charity and that’s admirable. But what happens if this new order takes hold? Sure, Tiger’s Foundation will get its money and so will Phil’s, but what about the dozens of other charities that are left out in the cold? Who got their share? Tiger, Phil and Tim Finchem should remember that golf did not invent the big buck charity golf tournament; charity invented the big buck golf tournament.
Sometimes when the banquet table is too big you forget who bought the groceries.
Drive For Show, Putt For Dough
His brother Rick Dempsey is perhaps the better-known athlete, but Pat Dempsey has an even bigger swing than baseball’s 1983 World Series MVP. At about six-foot four inches tall and maybe 240 pounds, Pat Dempsey is built like a brick caddie shack and swings a golf club like Conan The Barbarian swings a two-handed sword.
Pat and I met a couple of years ago at a charity golf tournament where he was hitting drives for charity. For twenty dollars Pat would launch one into the stratosphere for you. Playing with a foursome that was born in the middle of the last century, we were more than anxious to purchase his distance, so we coughed-up the twenty bucks and then watched Pat do his thing.
To say Pat swings hard would be like saying Steve Nash can shoot free throws. It is absolutely violent to the point of making the spectators flinch, and I know because I was the head flincher. And, when someone said that he killed that one, it didn’t seem like a metaphor. Forget the long, smooth under control swing; this was pure violence.
As a special treat, Pat also did his impression of Happy Gilmore starting his pre-shot routine by jogging toward the ball before striking his mighty blow. As the ball sailed down the fairway I secretly wondered what must it be like to scare other golfers and small children with my drive; to reach every par five in two; to carry every bunker; to laugh in the face of water hazards? If I could hit a ball like that would my wife still make me take out the trash? I think not.
As we approached our charity ball at about 365 yards out I glanced back at Pat who was lighting a celebratory cigar and laughing like Arnold Swarzenegger. “I’ll be back,” I thought I heard him shout.
With only a sand wedge left to the green and with four shots at it, you probably think we’d pitch it up there for an easy birdie, but if I recall we didn’t get a ball inside of ten feet with four chances. Save for a putt that did a 360 around the hole before falling in we almost blew the whole deal.
Pat is still hitting the long ball but now as Captain of UST’s Long Drive Team as well as a competitor in the senior division of Long Driver of America and the RE/MAX Long Drive Championship. The Team is doing really well this year with five of six team members already qualifying for the World Championship. For the record, they’re swinging UST’s V2 Long Drive shaft designed especially for long drive and other competitive gorilla activities.
I don’t have a list of future Long Driver of America Tournaments or the requirement to enter, but I bet if you pay an entry fee and go through qualifying you can join the testosterone exhibitions. However, before you quit your day job and jump out there you should know that the flat-belly record holder, better known as the Open Division, is Jason Zuback with a blast of 412+ yards. Interestingly, Zuback is also the shortest Champion standing a mere five-foot nine inches. Just for the record, Viktor Johansson is the tallest Champion at six-foot six inches. Nancy Abiecunas is the woman’s record holder with a drive of 332+ yards, and coincidentaly she is also the shortest women champion at five-foot ten inches, an inch taller than the shortest men’s record holder. The tallest lady Champion is Stacey Shinnick at six-feet two inches.
Just imagine the mixed scramble team you could put together.
The leading money winner on the Tour is Dave Gureckis with $69,350 for his entire career. That is correct; that’s his career earnings not annual. Our friend Pat Dempsey has earned $58,070 over about ten years of competing. Don’t get me wrong, fifty thousand bucks is a nice bonus, but you might want to keep the day job, which I assume all of these men and women do.
So, I guess it’s true that you drive for show and putt for dough, but there seems to be more to it than money. I think these men and women really love the thrill of hitting the big one, and come to think of it, so do most of us. What’s a lay up?
The one question that everyone always wants to ask is what kind of golfers are these guys? Pretty good, actually. Pat, like many of the other long drive guys, is a scratch golfer, but the other side of that coin is that just about every club pro in America is also a scratch golfer. So then, how good are Tiger, Phil and the rest of those guys all the way to the Nationwide Tour who play golf for a living… really, really good.
Let’s put it this way, Sean O’Hair could spot most of us an eight on seventeen at Sawgrass and still beat the crap out of most of us, and he might even win the long drive contest, as well.
Pat and I met a couple of years ago at a charity golf tournament where he was hitting drives for charity. For twenty dollars Pat would launch one into the stratosphere for you. Playing with a foursome that was born in the middle of the last century, we were more than anxious to purchase his distance, so we coughed-up the twenty bucks and then watched Pat do his thing.
To say Pat swings hard would be like saying Steve Nash can shoot free throws. It is absolutely violent to the point of making the spectators flinch, and I know because I was the head flincher. And, when someone said that he killed that one, it didn’t seem like a metaphor. Forget the long, smooth under control swing; this was pure violence.
As a special treat, Pat also did his impression of Happy Gilmore starting his pre-shot routine by jogging toward the ball before striking his mighty blow. As the ball sailed down the fairway I secretly wondered what must it be like to scare other golfers and small children with my drive; to reach every par five in two; to carry every bunker; to laugh in the face of water hazards? If I could hit a ball like that would my wife still make me take out the trash? I think not.
As we approached our charity ball at about 365 yards out I glanced back at Pat who was lighting a celebratory cigar and laughing like Arnold Swarzenegger. “I’ll be back,” I thought I heard him shout.
With only a sand wedge left to the green and with four shots at it, you probably think we’d pitch it up there for an easy birdie, but if I recall we didn’t get a ball inside of ten feet with four chances. Save for a putt that did a 360 around the hole before falling in we almost blew the whole deal.
Pat is still hitting the long ball but now as Captain of UST’s Long Drive Team as well as a competitor in the senior division of Long Driver of America and the RE/MAX Long Drive Championship. The Team is doing really well this year with five of six team members already qualifying for the World Championship. For the record, they’re swinging UST’s V2 Long Drive shaft designed especially for long drive and other competitive gorilla activities.
I don’t have a list of future Long Driver of America Tournaments or the requirement to enter, but I bet if you pay an entry fee and go through qualifying you can join the testosterone exhibitions. However, before you quit your day job and jump out there you should know that the flat-belly record holder, better known as the Open Division, is Jason Zuback with a blast of 412+ yards. Interestingly, Zuback is also the shortest Champion standing a mere five-foot nine inches. Just for the record, Viktor Johansson is the tallest Champion at six-foot six inches. Nancy Abiecunas is the woman’s record holder with a drive of 332+ yards, and coincidentaly she is also the shortest women champion at five-foot ten inches, an inch taller than the shortest men’s record holder. The tallest lady Champion is Stacey Shinnick at six-feet two inches.
Just imagine the mixed scramble team you could put together.
The leading money winner on the Tour is Dave Gureckis with $69,350 for his entire career. That is correct; that’s his career earnings not annual. Our friend Pat Dempsey has earned $58,070 over about ten years of competing. Don’t get me wrong, fifty thousand bucks is a nice bonus, but you might want to keep the day job, which I assume all of these men and women do.
So, I guess it’s true that you drive for show and putt for dough, but there seems to be more to it than money. I think these men and women really love the thrill of hitting the big one, and come to think of it, so do most of us. What’s a lay up?
The one question that everyone always wants to ask is what kind of golfers are these guys? Pretty good, actually. Pat, like many of the other long drive guys, is a scratch golfer, but the other side of that coin is that just about every club pro in America is also a scratch golfer. So then, how good are Tiger, Phil and the rest of those guys all the way to the Nationwide Tour who play golf for a living… really, really good.
Let’s put it this way, Sean O’Hair could spot most of us an eight on seventeen at Sawgrass and still beat the crap out of most of us, and he might even win the long drive contest, as well.
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