Tiger Woods And The Dangers Of Looking Human

A buddy and me were shooting pool and drinking beer one day, when he asked me, “Why aren’t we rich?”

Being the sage that I am I answered, “Because it’s 2:30 on Tuesday afternoon and we’re shooting pool and drinking beer instead of working.”

Okay, now imagine that you’re Tiger Woods and you look down at your bank account and you see $100,000,012.54. Are you tempted to roll over and hit the snooze alarm for ten years or so? To me, that has always been the real difference between Tiger Woods and everybody else; he never seemed to reach for the snooze alarm. He is not only the most talented player in the world; he is also one of the hardest workers, as well.

But are things changing?

For almost two years now Tiger seems to be a little out of sync, and that’s understandable. First, there was his marriage, then the death of his father, and now the birth of his first child. Probably any one of those emotional events would set you and I back for months. Now, take all of that and add the normal, day-to-day pressures of simply being Tiger Woods and you have the formula for a total collapse, or at the very least a club throwing hissy fit.

There have been difficulties, sure, but no collapse, or hissy fit. He is still the leading money winner on Tour and the number one ranked player in the world, so what’s the worry?

The answer is simple; he’s starting to look human, even vulnerable.

Remember Mike Tyson before Buster Douglas? He wasn’t human, he was unbeatable, invincible, the scariest man on the planet. But, somehow he lost to Buster and he was no longer invincible and very human. Within the count of ten, Mike Tyson started down that road of “no respect,” which he never recovered from.

Tiger is not Mike Tyson (thank God), but he is starting to look human and that is a dangerous territory for an intimidator, any intimidator. Competitively, Tiger was like Tyson. He carried the aura of invincibility. People didn’t believe that they could beat him and as long as they felt that way they couldn’t. Now, he’s lost to a fat boy from Argentina and last week he was never in the hunt. And there have been other signs. Granted, two weeks does not a season make, and as I said before he is still the leading money winner on Tour and the number one ranked player in the world, but I’m worried.

As good as Tiger is, and I certainly believe that he is the best golfer in the world, I don’t believe that he can simply show up and win. Perhaps he can show up and finish in the top-ten, and frankly he maybe that good, but I hope that’s not the plan. I want to see Tiger be Tiger. I want to see the best golfer in the world be as good as he can possibly be every time he tees it up; that why’s I am proposing that Tiger should get a divorce.

I’m selfish; I don’t want Tiger to be human, or married, or a father. I want him to be the greatest golfer in the world 24/7. Remember, Joe DiMaggio waited until after his career was over before he married Marilyn Monroe. Would “The Yankee Clipper” have had a 56 game hitting streak with Marilyn whispering in his ear? I think not.

High jumper Dwight Stone talked about pacing himself because he was receiving a check every time he broke the world record. Using this tactic he set the world record six or seven times, but he never jumped as high as he could because he was always saving room for another world record and another check. Later on he said how much he regretted not putting the bar as high as he could when he could.

Tiger is in his prime and now is not the time to start pacing himself. Now is the time to see how high he can set the bar, and I want to watch. So the only reasonable answer is to get a divorce. Certainly, this might create a hardship for wife Elin and Sam Alexis Woods, but nothing comforts hardships like a zillion dollars in the bank.

I agree that my expectations of Tiger are not fair. Like any other human being he should be able to marry, raise a family and enjoy his $100,000,012.54 when and where he sees fit. But my advice to him is the same as I gave my friend some years ago, “Stop shooting pool and drinking beer and go to work.”

Like it or not, you’re a supernatural being, so let your mom baby-sit, send Elin to Rodeo Drive and get yourself to the driving range before the British Open.