I am not only a writer I am a talker. I talk to every swing, good and bad, though I tend to talk to bad shots more than the good ones. I sometimes cuss bad shots that turn out well, which really ticks off whoever I’m playing with. I actually miss-hit my only hole-in-one, and cussed an eagle that was bladed from the fairway to the bottom of the hole.
Over the years the famous, infamous and folks you never heard of like me have had some interesting things to say about the great game. Here are just a few:
Golf is a good walk spoiled. ~Mark Twain
Eighteen holes of match or medal play will teach you more about your foe than will 18 years of dealing with him across a desk. ~Grantland Rice
Golf is like an 18-year-old girl with big boobs. You know it's wrong but you can't keep away from her. ~Val Doonican
Golf appeals to the idiot in us and the child. Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five. ~John Updike
They call it golf because all of the other four-letter words were taken. ~Raymond Floyd
Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. And it took a seven to do that. ~Jim Murray
A "gimme" can best be defined as an agreement between two golfers, neither of whom can putt very well. ~Author Unknown
If profanity had an influence on the flight of the ball, the game of golf would be played far better than it is. ~Horace G. Hutchinson
Golf is like a love affair. If you don't take it seriously, it's no fun; if you do take it seriously, it breaks your heart. ~Arthur Daley
The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing. ~Phyllis Diller
The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top. ~Pete Dye
If I can hit a curveball, why can't I hit a ball that is standing still on a course? ~Larry
Nelson
Art said he wanted to get more distance. I told him to hit it and run backward. ~Ken Venturi, on Art Rosenbaum
The sport of choice for the urban poor is basketball. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling. The sport of choice for front-line workers is football. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf. Conclusion: The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls become. ~Author Unknown
Golf balls are attracted to water as unerringly as the eye of a middle-aged man to a female bosom. ~Michael Green, The Art of Coarse Golf, 1967
If you're caught on a golf course during a storm and are afraid of lightning, hold up a 1-iron. Not even God can hit a 1-iron. ~Lee Trevino
Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun. ~Jim Bishop
"Play it as it lies" is one of the fundamental dictates of golf. The other is "Wear it if it clashes." ~Henry Beard, Golfing, 1985
I would like to deny all allegations by Bob Hope that during my last game of golf, I hit an eagle, a birdie, an elk and a moose. ~Gerald Ford
The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez
A golf course is nothing but a poolroom moved outdoors. ~Barry Fitzgerald, Going My Way
I'll shoot my age if I have to live to be 105. ~Bob Hope
After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye. ~Chi Chi Rodriguez, on his Puerto Rican accent
My swing is so bad I look like a caveman killing his lunch. ~Lee Trevino
Golf is the cruelest game, because eventually it will drag you out in front of the whole school, take your lunch money and slap you around. ~Rick Reilly, "Master Strokes," Sports Illustrated
Golf is the cruelest of sports. Like life, it's unfair. It's a harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It never lives up to its promises.... It's a boulevard of broken dreams. It plays with men. And runs off with the butcher. ~Jim Murray
No game designed to be played with the aid of personal servants by right-handed men who can't even bring along their dogs can be entirely good for the soul. ~Bruce McCall, "The Case Against Golf," Esquire
These greens are so fast I have to hold my putter over the ball and hit it with the shadow. ~Sam Snead
Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a graceful result. ~Tommy Armour
Who watches golf on TV? Who calls eight friends over and gets a keg of beer? Landscapers, I guess. They sit around the TV, yelling, "Will you look at that golf path? Pure pea gravel." ~Jeff Cesario
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five. ~Paul Harvey
You can't call it a sport. You don't run, jump, you don't shoot, you don't pass. All you have to do is buy some clothes that don't match. ~Steve Sax
Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball is a sport for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps. ~Tiger Woods
It's so bad I could putt off a tabletop and still leave the ball halfway down the leg. ~J.C. Snead, on his putting
The uglier a man's legs are, the better he plays golf. It's almost a law. ~H.G. Wells, Bealby, 1915
One of the advantages bowling has over golf is that you seldom lose a bowling ball. ~Don Carter
I'm a golfaholic, no question about that. Counseling wouldn't help me. They'd have to put me in prison, and then I'd talk the warden into building a hole or two and teach him how to play. ~Lee Trevino
My Sunday best is a Wednesday afternoon compared to him. ~Nick Faldo, on John Daly
When I die, bury me on the golf course so my husband will visit. ~Author Unknown
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Scrambles, Shambles, Pro-Ams and Other Lesser Forms Of Golf
I hate scrambles. Perhaps they are a necessary evil of trying to get around a golf course with a large group of mixed handicaps, but the rounds tend to last five or six hours anyway, so what’s the point?
I hate that scrambles make me over swing because “the team” already has a ball in play so the only way I can contribute is to be long, which is not my game. Nonetheless, for the team, I jump up and try to show everyone my cleats. Half the time my “big swing” ends up as a dead pull and OB left. Now and then I’ll hit one pretty good only to find out that one of my flat-bellied partners has hit it past me anyway. Instantly, my best was relegated to second best just like that. What a waste.
Then there is putting and the embarrassment of missing a putt after you have seen the line and speed four times. And, let’s face it if you don’t birdie or eagle every hole you have no chance to win. Hell, I’ve played in scrambles that 25 under didn’t even make the front page of the leader-board. The first liar hasn’t got a chance.
Then there’s the closest-to-the-hole contest at the long par three that I never win. The only way I even get to write my name on that card is to be in the first group, which is good because only the second group knows that your ball was a good fifty feet from the hole. Writing your name on that card that stands defiantly close to the hole is a golfer’s badge of courage. You’ve hit dozens of balls closer. Now and then you’ve caught it clean and impressed your buddies with a little backspin. But this is better because you get to write your name down. Go figure.
Longest, straightest, closest to the hole; I pretty much suck at all of those things, so why do I hate scrambles when it is obviously a game suited to my talents? Because win lose or draw, it simply doesn’t feel like real golf.
A scramble reminds me of playing penny-ante poker with strangers where four aces may draw the same bet as two-pair. There is so little at stake you never get a feeling for the game. In a scramble format it’s easy to lose your focus, not to mention your pride and ego. Bad shots have no penalty because the guy behind you simply hits another. Good shots are blown out of proportion because four or five guys benefit from your occasional magic with a five-iron. High-fives all-round.
Another thing I hate about scrambles is the shotgun start. In my mind, golf courses are designed to be played hole one through hole eighteen and when you tee off on fifteen, which may be the number one handicap hole, it changes everything. I have a tiny little brain and when I get off to a bad start I have a very difficult time righting the ship. Think about it, have you ever double-bogeyed the first hole and had a good round?
Next month I’m playing in a shamble, which is better than a scramble but not better than just playing golf. It still makes me swing too hard off the tee, but at least after you move your ball to the site of the best tee shot you get to play your own ball in from there. I don’t know if a shamble is slower or faster than a scramble, but I do enjoy it more.
Speaking of six-hour rounds, for several years I played in a big-time pro-am at a PGA event that cost me about $5,000. It wasn’t a scramble, it was two-ball, and if you were out of the hole they made you pick up your ball. Most of the pros I played with were okay, some, like Tom Watson, were very nice and a few were real jerks and made no bones about not wanting to be there. For some reason those guys never realized that the dudes willing to pony-up the five grand were pretty important to the welfare of the Tournament. Go figure.
Which reminds me of the nameless PGA professional and recently fired television commentator that was asked by a one of the pro-am participants to read a putt to which he answered, “Pick up your ball fat boy, you’re out of the hole.” For $5,000 you deserve to have a putt read even by a jerk.
Like most of you, I hate to play slow and perhaps real golf would be slower than a scramble or a shamble. What do you think? What is the best way to move twenty or thirty foursomes around a golf course? Perhaps a better question would be, what would be the most fun?
I hate that scrambles make me over swing because “the team” already has a ball in play so the only way I can contribute is to be long, which is not my game. Nonetheless, for the team, I jump up and try to show everyone my cleats. Half the time my “big swing” ends up as a dead pull and OB left. Now and then I’ll hit one pretty good only to find out that one of my flat-bellied partners has hit it past me anyway. Instantly, my best was relegated to second best just like that. What a waste.
Then there is putting and the embarrassment of missing a putt after you have seen the line and speed four times. And, let’s face it if you don’t birdie or eagle every hole you have no chance to win. Hell, I’ve played in scrambles that 25 under didn’t even make the front page of the leader-board. The first liar hasn’t got a chance.
Then there’s the closest-to-the-hole contest at the long par three that I never win. The only way I even get to write my name on that card is to be in the first group, which is good because only the second group knows that your ball was a good fifty feet from the hole. Writing your name on that card that stands defiantly close to the hole is a golfer’s badge of courage. You’ve hit dozens of balls closer. Now and then you’ve caught it clean and impressed your buddies with a little backspin. But this is better because you get to write your name down. Go figure.
Longest, straightest, closest to the hole; I pretty much suck at all of those things, so why do I hate scrambles when it is obviously a game suited to my talents? Because win lose or draw, it simply doesn’t feel like real golf.
A scramble reminds me of playing penny-ante poker with strangers where four aces may draw the same bet as two-pair. There is so little at stake you never get a feeling for the game. In a scramble format it’s easy to lose your focus, not to mention your pride and ego. Bad shots have no penalty because the guy behind you simply hits another. Good shots are blown out of proportion because four or five guys benefit from your occasional magic with a five-iron. High-fives all-round.
Another thing I hate about scrambles is the shotgun start. In my mind, golf courses are designed to be played hole one through hole eighteen and when you tee off on fifteen, which may be the number one handicap hole, it changes everything. I have a tiny little brain and when I get off to a bad start I have a very difficult time righting the ship. Think about it, have you ever double-bogeyed the first hole and had a good round?
Next month I’m playing in a shamble, which is better than a scramble but not better than just playing golf. It still makes me swing too hard off the tee, but at least after you move your ball to the site of the best tee shot you get to play your own ball in from there. I don’t know if a shamble is slower or faster than a scramble, but I do enjoy it more.
Speaking of six-hour rounds, for several years I played in a big-time pro-am at a PGA event that cost me about $5,000. It wasn’t a scramble, it was two-ball, and if you were out of the hole they made you pick up your ball. Most of the pros I played with were okay, some, like Tom Watson, were very nice and a few were real jerks and made no bones about not wanting to be there. For some reason those guys never realized that the dudes willing to pony-up the five grand were pretty important to the welfare of the Tournament. Go figure.
Which reminds me of the nameless PGA professional and recently fired television commentator that was asked by a one of the pro-am participants to read a putt to which he answered, “Pick up your ball fat boy, you’re out of the hole.” For $5,000 you deserve to have a putt read even by a jerk.
Like most of you, I hate to play slow and perhaps real golf would be slower than a scramble or a shamble. What do you think? What is the best way to move twenty or thirty foursomes around a golf course? Perhaps a better question would be, what would be the most fun?
Thursday, September 13, 2007
My Cup Runneth Over
You might have heard that there are a few championship cups at stake this month. And for my money, it is yet to be determined which one will be the most exciting or the most important.
The FedEx Cup. I assume that the PGA Tour considered what would happen if only six guys actually had a chance to win the FedEx Cup in the final week. I also assume that they knew that the third round had a real chance to be concluded at more than twenty under par. In their defense, they had no idea that Atlanta would spend the year closer to the sun than normal and suffer through the worst summer in twenty years and perhaps lose several greens just before the Championship. We all hate that, but not as much as the Tournament Director who lost his Pro-Am and a couple of million dollars.
But it is what it is.
So, here’s what it comes down to: If Tiger wins first or is tied for second he wins. If Stricker wins he wins and if he finishes second and Tiger finishes third he still wins. Mickelson needs a little help. If he wins and Tiger finishes no better than third, Phil is the Champion. Rory Sabbatina needs to beat Mickelson and Stricker and have Tiger finish no better than thirteen. K.J. Choi needs even more help. He needs Mickelson to finish third or worse, Stricker fourth or worse, and Tiger to finish twenty-second. He may have to steal Tiger’s clubs for that to happen and that still may not be enough. The only other guy with any chance is Aaron Baddeley who basically needs to win on Sunday and have Tiger, Steve, Phil, Rory and K.J. to finish dead last.
Any of the other twenty-four players can win the Tournament, but they cannot win the FedEx Cup even if the top six players don’t play. For the Tour’s sake, I hope the top six play well. It might be a little embarrassing if the first FedEx Cup winner shoots 80 on the final day.
The Walker Cup. This may turn out to be the most exciting cup of the year. The U.S. team, with our guy Colt Knost, needed a 254-yard 4-iron from Jonathan Moore on 18 to set up a four foot eagle putt to win 12.5-11.5. By the way, it’s the first time the U.S. has won the Walker Cup on foreign soil since a couple of guys named Phil Mickelson and David Duval won at Portmarnock outside Dublin back in 1991.
Our boy Knost and the hero of the day Jonathan Moore were the only two players not to lose a match. Doesn’t Jonathan Moore sound like he ought to be playing for the Brits?
The Solheim Cup. In a grumpy old man sort of way, I like the ladies’ game and the Solheim Cup. Perhaps it’s because the ladies’ game is a lot closer to mine than Tiger’s. However, I must admit that I miss the craziness of Michelle Wie, but alas she is hitting the books at dear old Stanford. Fear not however, with only nine tournaments in the record books, the U.S. has already made it a habit of kicking European butt without Michelle Wie. The three European wins have been over there, but only one of the U.S.’s six wins has been away from home.
U.S. Team Captain and Hall of Fame member Betsy King brings veterans Juli Inkster, and Pat Hurst along with past team members; Laura Diaz, Cristie Kerr and Sherri Steinhauer are all three-time members of the American squad as well. Twenty-one-year-old Paula Creamer is making her second Solheim Cup appearance after leading the Americans in her rookie debut with 3 points in 2005.
The U.S. Team will also showcase four rookies including Nicole Castrale, Brittany Lincicome, Stacy Prammanasudh and Morgan Pressel. Natalie Gulbis, a member of the victorious 2005 U.S. Team, and Angela Stanford, who played on the 2003 U.S. Team in Malmo, Sweden, round out the 12-member team.
For the Europeans, all you need to know is that Swede Annika Sorenstam leads the way, along with England's Helen Alfredsson and long hitter Laura Davies, who has played in all nine previous stagings of the event.
They will tee it up at Halmstad Golf Club in Halmstad, Sweden this week with nary a Korean in sight.
The Nextel Cup. The Nextel Cup holds the honor of being the only cup that you could actually die winning, that is unless you drown at the America’s Cup, get hit between the eyes with a puck at the Stanley Cup, or break your putter over your head at the FedEx Cup. In any case, Jimmie Johnson has a chance to accomplish what Jeff Gordon last did 10 years ago and win consecutive Cup championships. First, Johnson will have to hold off Gordon and 10 other drivers in the Chase Cup.
Imagine, ten guys having a chance to win… what a concept.
The World Cup, Etc. There is one of these for every sport ever invented, isn’t there? And, let’s not forget the Stanley Cup, America’s Cup, the Ryder Cup, and a dozen other cups you never heard of.
But in case you missed it, the Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup four games to one. The Swiss won the America’s Cup and for the second time in a row; no Americans were even in the race. The Ryder Cup is next year, isn’t it? And just about everyone either has or will win a World Cup in their lifetime.
Stay tuned for the winner of the Tees2Greens Cup.
The FedEx Cup. I assume that the PGA Tour considered what would happen if only six guys actually had a chance to win the FedEx Cup in the final week. I also assume that they knew that the third round had a real chance to be concluded at more than twenty under par. In their defense, they had no idea that Atlanta would spend the year closer to the sun than normal and suffer through the worst summer in twenty years and perhaps lose several greens just before the Championship. We all hate that, but not as much as the Tournament Director who lost his Pro-Am and a couple of million dollars.
But it is what it is.
So, here’s what it comes down to: If Tiger wins first or is tied for second he wins. If Stricker wins he wins and if he finishes second and Tiger finishes third he still wins. Mickelson needs a little help. If he wins and Tiger finishes no better than third, Phil is the Champion. Rory Sabbatina needs to beat Mickelson and Stricker and have Tiger finish no better than thirteen. K.J. Choi needs even more help. He needs Mickelson to finish third or worse, Stricker fourth or worse, and Tiger to finish twenty-second. He may have to steal Tiger’s clubs for that to happen and that still may not be enough. The only other guy with any chance is Aaron Baddeley who basically needs to win on Sunday and have Tiger, Steve, Phil, Rory and K.J. to finish dead last.
Any of the other twenty-four players can win the Tournament, but they cannot win the FedEx Cup even if the top six players don’t play. For the Tour’s sake, I hope the top six play well. It might be a little embarrassing if the first FedEx Cup winner shoots 80 on the final day.
The Walker Cup. This may turn out to be the most exciting cup of the year. The U.S. team, with our guy Colt Knost, needed a 254-yard 4-iron from Jonathan Moore on 18 to set up a four foot eagle putt to win 12.5-11.5. By the way, it’s the first time the U.S. has won the Walker Cup on foreign soil since a couple of guys named Phil Mickelson and David Duval won at Portmarnock outside Dublin back in 1991.
Our boy Knost and the hero of the day Jonathan Moore were the only two players not to lose a match. Doesn’t Jonathan Moore sound like he ought to be playing for the Brits?
The Solheim Cup. In a grumpy old man sort of way, I like the ladies’ game and the Solheim Cup. Perhaps it’s because the ladies’ game is a lot closer to mine than Tiger’s. However, I must admit that I miss the craziness of Michelle Wie, but alas she is hitting the books at dear old Stanford. Fear not however, with only nine tournaments in the record books, the U.S. has already made it a habit of kicking European butt without Michelle Wie. The three European wins have been over there, but only one of the U.S.’s six wins has been away from home.
U.S. Team Captain and Hall of Fame member Betsy King brings veterans Juli Inkster, and Pat Hurst along with past team members; Laura Diaz, Cristie Kerr and Sherri Steinhauer are all three-time members of the American squad as well. Twenty-one-year-old Paula Creamer is making her second Solheim Cup appearance after leading the Americans in her rookie debut with 3 points in 2005.
The U.S. Team will also showcase four rookies including Nicole Castrale, Brittany Lincicome, Stacy Prammanasudh and Morgan Pressel. Natalie Gulbis, a member of the victorious 2005 U.S. Team, and Angela Stanford, who played on the 2003 U.S. Team in Malmo, Sweden, round out the 12-member team.
For the Europeans, all you need to know is that Swede Annika Sorenstam leads the way, along with England's Helen Alfredsson and long hitter Laura Davies, who has played in all nine previous stagings of the event.
They will tee it up at Halmstad Golf Club in Halmstad, Sweden this week with nary a Korean in sight.
The Nextel Cup. The Nextel Cup holds the honor of being the only cup that you could actually die winning, that is unless you drown at the America’s Cup, get hit between the eyes with a puck at the Stanley Cup, or break your putter over your head at the FedEx Cup. In any case, Jimmie Johnson has a chance to accomplish what Jeff Gordon last did 10 years ago and win consecutive Cup championships. First, Johnson will have to hold off Gordon and 10 other drivers in the Chase Cup.
Imagine, ten guys having a chance to win… what a concept.
The World Cup, Etc. There is one of these for every sport ever invented, isn’t there? And, let’s not forget the Stanley Cup, America’s Cup, the Ryder Cup, and a dozen other cups you never heard of.
But in case you missed it, the Anaheim Ducks won the Stanley Cup four games to one. The Swiss won the America’s Cup and for the second time in a row; no Americans were even in the race. The Ryder Cup is next year, isn’t it? And just about everyone either has or will win a World Cup in their lifetime.
Stay tuned for the winner of the Tees2Greens Cup.
Tee It Up On The Twenty Yard Line
The only guy that Tiger and Phil may be scared of over the next couple of weeks is New England Patriot quarterback Tom Brady, and who can blame them. This time of year the name of the game is TV ratings and I suspect that the PGA and the FedEx Cup are about to get a dose of reality. Welcome to the NFL, where “These Guys Are Good” as well as big and fast and the owners of Fall TV ratings.
It’s not Tom Brady’s fault. He was willing to accept golf in its traditional role of second-level tournaments and made-for-TV events from now through Thanksgiving, but golf would have none of that, and now it may have to pay the price. Perhaps finishing second in the ratings is acceptable for golf, but even that goal requires beating NASCAR, and one should never underestimate the drawing power of the redneck nation.
Listening to Phil Mickelson after his win on Sunday probably didn’t give the Commissioner much comfort because he never said that he would play round three, and sure enough he has pulled out. I don’t doubt for a minute that there will be terrific galleries in Chicago (even without Phil) and Atlanta over the next couple of weeks, but FedEx is counting on more than just big galleries. Television potentially reaches more people in 30-seconds that all those galleries combined, but who’s counting? And, why should we care if our beloved game finishes second or even third in the TV ratings during their inaugural big-deal playoff event, as long as we get to watch golf? Isn’t this predicament exactly why TiVo was invented?
But what really happens if golf gets its butt kicked over the next two weeks? Perhaps the TV executives are forgiving, or perhaps the big-time advertising dudes run for cover, and not just from the FedEx Cup but from golf in general. The horror story that we all hope to avoid is the one where the corporate sponsors stop answering their phones when your favorite tournament calls. Then there is that small story right under golf’s bad TV rating story that innocently mentions that Tiger, Phil and the other big boys still think the season is too long, which is French for don’t count on me returning next year.
I am a pessimist, but for good reason. I simply don’t want golf to go the way of Tennis and become almost a second-tier sport, which is always a danger for country club sports. Check out the stats; golf, in terms of participation, is not growing; yet the prize money and the ticket prices are higher than ever. Who do they think they are, baseball?
Tiger is the biggest thing to happen in golf for many years. People who couldn’t pick Phil Mickelson out of a two-man lineup are watching Tiger Woods and only Tiger Woods play golf on TV. Chinese kids know who Tiger is. Look at the ratings. When Tiger’s not playing golf ratings drop like the XFL play-offs.
So, what’s going on? It seems like the Commissioner is asking Tiger, Phil and the boys to take on Tom Brady and the NFL head-on, and neither Tiger, Phil, nor any of the other boys are sure they want that responsibility. Would you?
It might help if they made the FedEx Cup a winner take all tournament, or perhaps a WFL cage match. Maybe Tiger and Phil will stage a legendary battle and each day the stakes will get higher. On Sunday with the Dallas Cowboys staring them down, Tiger will bet Phil his 250-foot yacht and Phil will promise to give back Butch Harmon and sign up for Jenny Craig if he loses.
How about we play the final round on an episode of Dancing With The Stars? Hell, Tiger has got to be a better dancer than Jerry Rice.
It’s not Tom Brady’s fault. He was willing to accept golf in its traditional role of second-level tournaments and made-for-TV events from now through Thanksgiving, but golf would have none of that, and now it may have to pay the price. Perhaps finishing second in the ratings is acceptable for golf, but even that goal requires beating NASCAR, and one should never underestimate the drawing power of the redneck nation.
Listening to Phil Mickelson after his win on Sunday probably didn’t give the Commissioner much comfort because he never said that he would play round three, and sure enough he has pulled out. I don’t doubt for a minute that there will be terrific galleries in Chicago (even without Phil) and Atlanta over the next couple of weeks, but FedEx is counting on more than just big galleries. Television potentially reaches more people in 30-seconds that all those galleries combined, but who’s counting? And, why should we care if our beloved game finishes second or even third in the TV ratings during their inaugural big-deal playoff event, as long as we get to watch golf? Isn’t this predicament exactly why TiVo was invented?
But what really happens if golf gets its butt kicked over the next two weeks? Perhaps the TV executives are forgiving, or perhaps the big-time advertising dudes run for cover, and not just from the FedEx Cup but from golf in general. The horror story that we all hope to avoid is the one where the corporate sponsors stop answering their phones when your favorite tournament calls. Then there is that small story right under golf’s bad TV rating story that innocently mentions that Tiger, Phil and the other big boys still think the season is too long, which is French for don’t count on me returning next year.
I am a pessimist, but for good reason. I simply don’t want golf to go the way of Tennis and become almost a second-tier sport, which is always a danger for country club sports. Check out the stats; golf, in terms of participation, is not growing; yet the prize money and the ticket prices are higher than ever. Who do they think they are, baseball?
Tiger is the biggest thing to happen in golf for many years. People who couldn’t pick Phil Mickelson out of a two-man lineup are watching Tiger Woods and only Tiger Woods play golf on TV. Chinese kids know who Tiger is. Look at the ratings. When Tiger’s not playing golf ratings drop like the XFL play-offs.
So, what’s going on? It seems like the Commissioner is asking Tiger, Phil and the boys to take on Tom Brady and the NFL head-on, and neither Tiger, Phil, nor any of the other boys are sure they want that responsibility. Would you?
It might help if they made the FedEx Cup a winner take all tournament, or perhaps a WFL cage match. Maybe Tiger and Phil will stage a legendary battle and each day the stakes will get higher. On Sunday with the Dallas Cowboys staring them down, Tiger will bet Phil his 250-foot yacht and Phil will promise to give back Butch Harmon and sign up for Jenny Craig if he loses.
How about we play the final round on an episode of Dancing With The Stars? Hell, Tiger has got to be a better dancer than Jerry Rice.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
Hold My Green Jacket While I Hit This Five Iron
Here’s the dilemma; you are twenty something years old, you’ve won the U.S. Public Links Tournament and now the U.S. Amateur title, the historic Walker Cup looms just ahead, you’re not broke, but you are a long way from rich. You’re feeling pretty good about your game especially now that the likes of Phil Mickelson says that you are good enough to turn professional. On the horizon appears to be big money endorsements, and the kind of prize money that you only dreamed of. So, what’s the problem?
The Masters and the U.S. Open, that’s what.
The winner of the U.S. Public Links and the U.S. Amateur earns an invitation to the Masters and the U.S. Open, but not if he turns professional.
Now, you might be thinking that with all your talent you’ll have a dozen chances to play in the Masters and the U.S. Open… but what if you’re wrong? What if you turn down the opportunity to play in the two biggest golf tournaments in the world, and then, for whatever reason, the Masters and the U.S. Open never come calling again?
That’s the dilemma facing Colt Knost, a student of T2G’s own Randy Smith.
In his dreams Colt can see himself driving down Magnolia Lane, staying in the Crow's Nest, strolling alongside the azaleas, walking across Hogan Bridge and trying to keep his ball out of Rae's Creek. He can imagine hobnobbing with Tiger and the boys at the Champion’s dinner, but he knows if he turns pro there is a chance that he’ll be sitting in his living room in 2008 watching it on television, just like you and me.
What would you do?
The last person to decline an invitation to the Masters was 1992 U.S. Amateur runner-up Tom Scherrer, and it took him until 2001 to earn a second invitation. He had nine years to think about that decision, most of them on the Nationwide Tour, but at least he finally made it.
Perhaps Colt Knost is better than Tom Scherrer; only time will tell. I remember the big smiles of amateurs Matt Kuchar and Ricky Barnes at the Masters and see the difficult times that both players have endured after turning pro. Matt Kuchar’s world ranking is 150 and Ricky Barnes, an amateur superstar, has yet to make it to the PGA Tour and who knows if he will ever return to the Masters.
If Colt doesn’t already know it, the difference between good and great is razor thin. Bull Durham’s “Crash” Davis said the difference between a 250 hitter and a 300 hitter is one hit a week; a seeing-eye single, a Texas Leaguer. Golf is the same; a couple of putts around, a lucky kick off a tree, a fifty-footer now and then, and you’ll keep your card, otherwise pack up your car for the Nationwide Tour, or any one of a dozen other regional tours.
Colt Knost is already in the middle of a great golf adventure. His resume reads like the All-American that he is, and let’s face it, he’s already accomplished more in golf that most of us can even imagine. Friend, and Walker Cup captain Buddy Marucci, bluntly told Knost he would be crazy to pass on a whirl around Amen Corner, but it’s not his decision, or Randy Smith’s, or your, or mine, it’s Colt’s.
"I think about it every day," Knost said. "It's hard not to think about it, because everybody I see comes up and asks. It's about 50-50, people saying I should turn pro or stay an amateur. ... It's obviously a good problem to have." Colt says that he’ll make his decision by the end of September; until then he’s busy with the Walker Cup.
For what it’s worth, Colt seems like a nice young man and we wish him all the best with his difficult decision. Personally, I think I would live in my car, if need be, so I could play in the Masters and the U.S. Open.
What do you think Tom Scherrer would do if he had it to do over again? What would Randy do? What would you do?
The Masters and the U.S. Open, that’s what.
The winner of the U.S. Public Links and the U.S. Amateur earns an invitation to the Masters and the U.S. Open, but not if he turns professional.
Now, you might be thinking that with all your talent you’ll have a dozen chances to play in the Masters and the U.S. Open… but what if you’re wrong? What if you turn down the opportunity to play in the two biggest golf tournaments in the world, and then, for whatever reason, the Masters and the U.S. Open never come calling again?
That’s the dilemma facing Colt Knost, a student of T2G’s own Randy Smith.
In his dreams Colt can see himself driving down Magnolia Lane, staying in the Crow's Nest, strolling alongside the azaleas, walking across Hogan Bridge and trying to keep his ball out of Rae's Creek. He can imagine hobnobbing with Tiger and the boys at the Champion’s dinner, but he knows if he turns pro there is a chance that he’ll be sitting in his living room in 2008 watching it on television, just like you and me.
What would you do?
The last person to decline an invitation to the Masters was 1992 U.S. Amateur runner-up Tom Scherrer, and it took him until 2001 to earn a second invitation. He had nine years to think about that decision, most of them on the Nationwide Tour, but at least he finally made it.
Perhaps Colt Knost is better than Tom Scherrer; only time will tell. I remember the big smiles of amateurs Matt Kuchar and Ricky Barnes at the Masters and see the difficult times that both players have endured after turning pro. Matt Kuchar’s world ranking is 150 and Ricky Barnes, an amateur superstar, has yet to make it to the PGA Tour and who knows if he will ever return to the Masters.
If Colt doesn’t already know it, the difference between good and great is razor thin. Bull Durham’s “Crash” Davis said the difference between a 250 hitter and a 300 hitter is one hit a week; a seeing-eye single, a Texas Leaguer. Golf is the same; a couple of putts around, a lucky kick off a tree, a fifty-footer now and then, and you’ll keep your card, otherwise pack up your car for the Nationwide Tour, or any one of a dozen other regional tours.
Colt Knost is already in the middle of a great golf adventure. His resume reads like the All-American that he is, and let’s face it, he’s already accomplished more in golf that most of us can even imagine. Friend, and Walker Cup captain Buddy Marucci, bluntly told Knost he would be crazy to pass on a whirl around Amen Corner, but it’s not his decision, or Randy Smith’s, or your, or mine, it’s Colt’s.
"I think about it every day," Knost said. "It's hard not to think about it, because everybody I see comes up and asks. It's about 50-50, people saying I should turn pro or stay an amateur. ... It's obviously a good problem to have." Colt says that he’ll make his decision by the end of September; until then he’s busy with the Walker Cup.
For what it’s worth, Colt seems like a nice young man and we wish him all the best with his difficult decision. Personally, I think I would live in my car, if need be, so I could play in the Masters and the U.S. Open.
What do you think Tom Scherrer would do if he had it to do over again? What would Randy do? What would you do?
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